Star Wars vs LotR Deathmatch #5

Battle of Loyal Sidekicks:







From his perch in the tree, Boromir quietly watches the tall, wooly creature strolling through the wood.  He has been tracking it for most of the day now, intently eyeing the shiny contents of the backpack.  He drops from the tree, ten feet in front of the unsuspecting Wookie.  Startled, Chewbacca stops to consider the unwelcome visitor.  Boromir speaks.  “Hello, friend.  You appear to be lost.  These are dangerous woods to be wandering about by yourself.  Can I help you find your way?”  Sensing insincerity, Chewbacca lets out a low growl.

Boromir sees the furry brow drop and bared teeth in time to react to the hairy animal.  Swift and agile, Boromir rolls to the side, evading the charging Chewbacca.  The Wookie turns and sees Boromir standing from a crouch, now with his sword drawn.  Chewbacca roars and charges again.  Again, Boromir effortlessly rolls to the side, this time flashing steel.  A tuft of brown hair flies and settles to the ground.  Chewbacca looks at the hair and then turns to see the bare spot on his back thigh.  “That was a warning, my furry friend.  I’m not looking for a fi..”  Boromir cuts off his own words as his eyes catch the gold pile in the hairy beast’s backpack.  It appears to be a figure carved of gold.  Any gold to extend Gondor’s coffers in this time of war against Mordor is most valuable.  The figure’s eyes suddenly appeared to light up, as if by magic.  “Wha.. Where am I?!  Chewbacca, is that you?!”  Chewie turns again to face Boromir, rage evident on his snarling face.  C3PO speaks, “Wait!  Turn around, you woolly.. I can’t see!”  Chewbacca charges again.  Boromir evades again.  But this time Boromir finds flesh with his sword, as he slashes the Wookie below the backs of his knees.

Chewie falls to a kneel, crying in pain.  Hurriedly, Boromir cuts the straps of the pack off of Chewbacca and dashes behind a nearby tree.  Threepio greets the man, “Hello, I am C3PO.  I must apologize for Chewbacca’s brutish behavior.  He really can be..”  .. “Fascinating..”, whispers the spellbound human.  He reaches into the bag and pulls out a severed arm.  Disgusted, he throws it down.  “’Tis no more than a broken heirloom”  Threepio: “I am no heirloom!  I am C3PO, interpreter droid fluent in over six mill..”  Suddenly, Boromir is yanked around and a brown, hairy arm violently grasps Boromir by the neck.  He drops his sword and grabs Chewbacca’s arm with both of his, trying to loosen the grip.  Boromir is forced to a stand and then is slowly raised up off of the ground by the powerful woodland creature.  Boromir’s legs flail, as he desperately gasps for air.  With an angry roar, Chewie throws Boromir back into a tree.  The human hits the tree hard with a smack and then slumps down to the ground.

Dazed, Boromir attempts to push himself up on all fours.  His head is spinning and he tastes his own blood.  He forces himself into a wobbly kneel.  The woods are slow to come into focus, but he spots the blurry brown figure ahead.  He spits out blood and wipes his mouth as the world slowly stops spinning.  The creature is holding a crossbow aimed straight at him.  Boromir laughs, “You underestimate me, Bear-dog!  I can take several sharp projectiles in this body.  They are but a nuisance.  I will not go down but from an arrow or bolt.”  Chewie cocks his head, briefly hesitating.  And then fires.  Jolted by the blast, Boromir expresses shock as he slowly looks down at the smoking hole in his chest, and quietly says “Well, that’s no arrow now, is it?”  Boromir drops forward, dead.  Chewbacca gathers C3PO back up into his backpack; “I say, Chewbacca, it seems that trouble just has a way of finding you… And me, for that matter.  From now on I think that we should listen to Master Skywalker.  And where is Han?!  Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that..”  Threepio’s voice cuts off, as Chewbacca clicks a switch on the back of his head.  Chewbacca lets out a wookie sigh and walks away through the woods.  He eventually comes to a clearing where the Millennium Falcon is parked.

**Chewbacca blasts Boromir** (Star Wars 3, LotR 2)

In the woods

Chewbacca walks through woods with gold in his backpack

Boromir greets the Wookie








Chewie attacks

Boromir draws a sword

Boromir sees Threepio and is distracted by his luster








Boromir is grabbed by Chewbacca

Chewie throws Boromir into a tree and aims his crossbow

Boromir brags about being able to take multiple arrow fire








Boromir is dead from laser fire

Chewbacca finds the Millenium Falcon in the woods

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